I want to preface this post by saying that I know that not everyone has access to healthcare and therefore mental healthcare. I wish that this wasn't the case. I think that overtime it will hopefully become more accessible to those who need it. Mental health is just as important as physical health.
I have had the privilege to be in therapy since I was in high school. I began going to therapy my sophomore year of high school because I became so overwhelmed with school work that I would shut down and simply not be able to do any of it. I have always pushed myself hard and I hold myself to an often impossible standard. This was really starting to affect me and I had many sleepless nights and many back-to-back panic attacks. Due to this, I started seeing a therapist who became our family therapist. She came at just the right time, because not long after I started seeing her, I got sick with endometriosis, but more on that another time.
My therapist at the time was actually a family counselor, so we all worked together to find ways to help my anxiety and find what was triggering me. This counselor worked a lot by finding and teaching me coping mechanisms that I could use when I was feeling anxious. The first part of our sessions would typically be me explaining to her how I had been feeling and ways I was struggling in the last week. Then we would normally do an exercise that could help me when I was really anxious or had intrusive thoughts and whatnot. After this, my parents would come in and we would recap and talk about how they could help me as I was going through it.
When I got sick it became much more about navigating my life and finding ways to make sure I was getting the healthcare that I needed from my healthcare providers. There was a lot of doubt on me and there were many people who believed I was faking my pain. Add onto that the fact that I was in high school, unable to go to class many days, missing out on activities with friends, losing friends, and more, we spent a lot of time working through all of that as well.
After graduating, I didn't see that therapist much more, because I was off in college. My first year of school was pretty great, but this past year hasn't been the best. My mental health really went for a bit of a downfall and working through things on my own wasn't enough. I needed someone to talk to who could help me. I first went to our college's counseling center, but so many students need help and they couldn't quite provide me with the level of care that I needed. So I went on a search for another therapist in the area. It took a while, but finally I found the right person.
Through the end of the year, I saw her once a week. Therapy isn't exactly like it is in the movies. I'm not laying on a couch crying while the therapist sits there and writes things on a clipboard. Usually I just walk in and sit on the couch, make myself comfortable, and then the word vomit begins. I pretty much sit there and spew out what I've been thinking and feelings and going through. After my monologue, she tells me what she thinks I'm saying and boils it all down for me. She is always so validating of my feelings, while also being very honest about everything.
What I want to give to anyone reading this post is this: if you think therapy might be good for you, I would say give it a shot. Finding the right therapist might not be easy, but it can be so worth it. It doesn't always feel helpful at the start- there are many times where I would go home and crawl in bed and cry because during my session I just realized things that made me sad. With that said, it has made me a better and more aware person. I am more understanding of not only myself but others as well. It has made me slow down and really think about what I want in my life and what I don't.
Therapy hasn't been the end-all-be-all in my life. I use a lot of coping mechanisms to work on myself and my mental health, but I think that without taking this step and working through things, I wouldn't be where I am now. Even people who don't necessarily struggle with their mental health can so benefit from therapy. Having someone completely removed from a situation and getting their sound advice is so valuable. The world we live in can be cruel and life is difficult, for everyone. Everyone goes through their own things and finding a therapist to be a sounding board and work on finding yourself even more is very valuable. What I've learned is that I'm on my own path and it's something that may have a few winding roads, but by learning about myself and my needs I can do my best to make my path what I want it to be.
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